What’s Happening? 33 week update…

arv -49_filteredHow far along: 
33 Weeks!

Total Weight Gain: None… lost 15 then went back up so it’s a total of 5 pounds lost now.

How big is Baby: About the size of a pineapple

Cravings: Firehouse subs, sweets,

How I’m feeling:  Eh… I feel pretty good. Normal aches and pains but added because of my boobies really doing a number on my back (too much info??) Can’t seem to ever get comfortable these days. Feeling good enough to hit getting ready for baby and company in full force. Starting to get really excited for the nursery and being more organized! Almost all closets have been purged!

arv -46_filteredSleep: What’s that?

Movement: YES! A lot.

Heart Rate: 156 bpm 

Gender/Name: It’s a BOY!!!! James Newton Diehl. We have named him after both of Dan’s Grandfathers.

 

 

 

arv -44_filteredWhat I’m looking forward to: So much! Looking forward to seeing that sweet face I have been dreaming about for so long. Seeing my daughters face when she first meets her little brother. Watching Hannah finally be able to be a big sister (She will be a good one). Can’t wait to hear that newborn cry and to get lots of snuggles everyday. I also am really looking forward to Dan and seeing him with his son!

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WARNING: DO NOT WATCH THE FOOD NETWORK WHILE PREGNANT

Consider this a public service announcement. The Food Network is great, in fact I have learned a lot about how to cook from the Food Network years ago. It really helped ignite my love of cooking and understand how to build depths of flavors. Not to toot my own horn but according to my most important critic (my daughter) I am the “best cooker ever” and “never make a gross meal”.

I haven’t watched it in a while, but today decided to turn it on while doing housework and doing the things needed to get ready for this baby. BOY OH BOY was this a bad idea. As I speak I’m listening to this women talk about a caramelized banana milk shake. Crap! I forgot to get bananas the last time I went to the store and I DO NOT have ice cream. The crazy is about to come out. This is why I’m sending out the warning, most of the time you will not have what they are cooking in your pantry or fridge so just do yourself a favor and don’t turn it on. Don’t.

There is nothing like a pregnant women’s food craving. I don’t know how to explain it. But, I will say I haven’t really had any cravings since I was so sick for so long. Food just seemed yucky to me even when I started feeling great. But, I ate to feed my baby. The good thing about that is I have actually lost weight the last 7/8 months. I doubt I will be able to say that tomorrow at my check up because the cravings have peeked around the corner and have attacked me with full force. Doc, I blame it on Food Network. And Firehouse Subs– have you tried their brisket sandwich…. it is. sooo. good.

On a lighter note many of you have seen Hannah’s Halloween costume. Let me tell you our daughter is very creative and comes up with the greatest ideas. This age is great, they really come into their own and all your predictions of how they are going to be when they were babies are being proven right before our eyes.

I want to take it back to tradition. Tradition is very important to me. I had a great childhood – my teenage years well, I was a punk but we aren’t getting into that today. Anyway, I feel like carrying on certain things my mother and father did for us helps me keep those great memories alive and well. My Mom made most of our Halloween costumes, she is so annoyingly talented. I just remember the excitement and build up there was and it made Halloween that much cooler and more fun. I want that for our kids and luckily I have a very talented husband to help me and our daughter put these ideas into reality. So, that’s why we make her costumes.

The one this year was harder to conceptualize than it was actually making it. It took us weeks to figure how we were going to make a tree costume. Sure, we could have gotten brown clothes and slapped on some leaves but, that wasn’t hard enough. So, this is what we came up with.

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She wanted to be a tree. So we made her a tree. The husband spray painted the trunk and I put it all together. So much fun working together as a family and I love the time we get to spend together while doing this. It’s priceless.

And a Baby Makes 4!

So many things to say and write about to catch up. Most everyone reading this is on facebook or instagram or family so you already know that my little family will now be a medium sized one!  December 31st is the date this little dude will arrive. That’s right a BOY!!! We are very excited.

Here is a picture of our reveal we did… that will end up being a WHOLE other post.

 

Photo Taken By: Leila Hunt Photography

Photo Taken By: Leila Hunt Photography

Just a quick bit on our journey to actually being able to say the words we are pregnant! It wasn’t easy and knowing there are so many women and families out there struggling I figured I’d lay a little bit of our journey out for you all to read:

We have wanted another child for the last four years. We have had a few years where we were really trying hard and just had so many disappointments. During a routine check up I  found out I have endometriosis which after researching it is now no surprise to me and not uncommon. I had surgery and they found a cyst on my left ovary so, those 2 things really didn’t help the making a baby process at all. I was told by the Dr. and MANY MANY friends that after the surgery we should have no problem at all getting pregnant. Well, everyone is clearly different because nothing… no baby.

A year went by after the surgery I got depressed, overweight, and at the lowest I have been. I honestly became a person I just didn’t know anymore. We gave up on the baby making and decided to go through the process of grieving that child we weren’t going to get. Sounds a bit dramatic I’m sure to someone reading this who has never gone through 4 years of trying to have a baby and nothing happening. But, it’s exactly what it feels like. That idea of your family not being fully complete, the idea of another amazing little person adding joy, the idea of your beautiful daughter who will make a perfect big sister, the names, all the wonderful things you imagine your future to be… gone.

A friend suggested I see a spiritual director and go to a silent retreat. I laughed at the idea because if you know me at all I am anything but silent, and silence makes me feel uncomfortable. Seriously, today I had a Dr. apt and waited for the elevator with this dude who was also waiting. I couldn’t handle the awkard silence so I pretended I left something, walked away, and went to the bathroom then came back so I could go alone. Sometimes, ya do what you gotta do to.

I’d love to explain what a silent retreat is… the only thing that comes to mind is life changing. It really did change my life. I spent 26 hours talking with God, reading the Bible, sitting outside and taking in nature, I even took a shower and got ready… without having to rush! That in itself was healing. I didn’t miss the talking because I spent so much time “talking” with God.  If you’d like a more official explanation you can go to Kasey’s website here and look into it.

My journey with Kasey (my spiritual guide) has really changed my life, so much. I don’t think she really has a clue how much her sessions have helped me heal and have gotten me closer to God. I know how to pray now- something I have always struggled with, I notice when God is trying to tell me something – not all the time but when I do it’s pretty cool, and I feel more at peace with my life. I have learned more about the stories in the bible than I ever had and I often use the bible as a “self help” book if you will.

There are many skeptics about the Christian faith. Many don’t know enough about it so they make their own judgements. My heart breaks and literally pounds out of my chest when I see rude comments from friends posted out on social media about people of faith. I have to really real myself in from getting into a online social media debate because they are brutal… so brutal. But, for me the bottom line is that my relationship with God and my faith has gotten me through the toughest time in my life. There will be more tough times to come I’m sure and I am excited to think that with the guidance of friends, family, and God I will make it through.

Anyway, when I was at the retreat I was immediately drawn to this tree. It was January so there were no leaves on it but folks this tree was magnificent even without the leaves. The branches made a wonderful soothing noise in the wind as birds found their perfect resting and chatting place. I bundled up sat down and started writing. As the sun peaked out from around the tree and slowly warmed my body I found God. I saw him in that tree. I asked many questions, I told him how much love His child would have if he or she was given to us. How much Hannah needed and wanted to be a big sister. She will be perfect at it. I promised that I would never disappear from Him again. Jesus hugged me at one point, even smirked and told me to be patient. All good things come to those who wait. I asked what I needed to do to heal my body and mind so I can get pregnant. I didn’t get a word for word answer but after I left the retreat I came across this cleanse. I prayed about it and felt a huge urgency to give it a try.

I tried it 2 times. The first time was a complete bust. Like really I did it for 4 days… it’s a 12 day cleanse. But this cleanse is only liquid. No solids. So, it had to be timed perfectly and I didn’t do that. A month went by and I decided to schedule it during a down time that was before a wedding I was going to so hopefully I would have lost a few lbs before it. This cleanse was amazing- well, it sucked at first, it sucked bad! But, it really was amazing once you got through the hungry starving feeling. I’m pretty sure all the nasty stuff came out, all the toxins, all the junk and I felt great! The first 4 days I wanted to punch anyone who came near me in the face but once that passed I was GREAT! The 12 days were over and I already had on my calendar when I was going to do it again.

I haven’t done it again… why? Because I got pregnant. A month after the cleanse was over and 3 months after my silent retreat! YIPPEEE!!!

So far this pregnancy has been difficult, very difficult. I have been really sick, losing weight, sent to the hospital, and we just got word that he may not be the perfect baby we envisioned. There may be some serious obstacles we have to face so thoughts and prayers from you all are welcomed with great big open arms.

Anyway, thank you for sharing this joy with us and thank you to the people who have continued to be a constant support in our lives. Can’t wait to keep you all updated on this little dude as our journey continues!

And guess what!!????!!! Fall is coming and we all know what that means in the Diehl home! It’s decorating and project time!! It’s baking time!! I think this weekend I am going to try to make scones!

Our favorite time of the year is year!! This is us picking pumpkins last year. We did it a little late but still found some good ones!

Our favorite time of the year is hear!! This is us picking pumpkins last year. We did it a little late but managed to find some good ones!

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Can't wait for the cool weather and get to go to the pumpkin patches again!!

Can’t wait for the cool weather and get to go to the pumpkin patches again!!

 

 

 

For My 30th Birthday I Asked for a Freezer…

Yep. That’s right. I want a freezer. In fact I have wanted one for quite some time AND now that I’m turning 30 I better get that darn freezer. I keep thinking how much my life will change. How I can get all those chicken’s when they go on sale or make a meal and freeze the left overs so I can have dinner ready in a few weeks on a busy day. All those veggies when we garden and  get from my Dad this summer can be blanched and frozen just like they do for the grocery store freezer veggies and all those amazing veggies wouldn’t have to go to waste. The Possibilities are endless friends.

But, How sad is this? Reeeeeallly, How sad is it that for my 30th birthday I want a freezer. I am having a hard time with the thought that I am now waddling into my 30’s. No more 20’s. I have to say the number thirty before I say the next number. It’s going to be hard, I  mean I’ve said the number twenty for 10 years. I want to be the cool one who is forever young (and doesn’t ask for a freezer for her birthday). I want to be the cool Mom that all of Hannah’s friends want to be around. And 30 isn’t helping that dream.

I don’t like a lot of things about my life right now. NUMBER ONE is my weight. It’s ridiculous how fat I am now. I didn’t even know it was physically possible for me, a size zero a few years ago to be the size that I am now. And you know what to all you judgie people out there. It is flipping hard loosing weight. Especially when your body doesn’t work right and when your body doesn’t let you. So now, I want a freezer, and I am fat for my 30th. Awesome.

But here’s the bright side. I am turning 30 this year and my awesome, amazing, talented, beautiful, smart, daughter is turning 7. SEVEN. What the…? Bright side? Never mind, she’s growing up and I can’t handle it. This is hard. They don’t tell you that in those How To Do This and That Mommy Books that you engulf yourself in for 10 months. False advertisement I say because that to me is the most important thing we as Mothers can never forget.

Our babies don’t stay that way forever. They start walking, eating, eating on their own, going potty, going potty on their own, then wiping their own butts, talking, talking a lot, making jokes, going to school, walking in to school on their own, going potty on their own in restaurants AND public places, bathing on their own, getting dressed on their own. Heck, no wonder Mom’s of older kids are on facebook and instagram…. We have LOADS of free time now and we weren’t prepared for it!

I mean I guess I can ask for a new car, or clothes, or something cool and hip like an ipad mini (which I won’t because I still have my ipad large). But, I didn’t. I will be 30 hopefully with a freezer and a growing up 7 year old at my hip. *sigh*

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